Name Your Poison

Camellia_sinensis_Tea_Plant_ჩაი

“She raised her hand to cut me off. “I am aware of your epistolary flirtation. Which is all well and good–as long as it’s well and good. Before I ask you some questions, perhaps you would like some tea?”

“That would depend on what kind of tea you were offering.”

“So diffident! Suppose it was Earl Grey.”

I shook my head. “Tastes like pencil shavings.”

“Lady Grey.”

“I don’t drink beverages named after beheaded monarchs. It seems so tacky.”

“Chamomile?”

“Might as well sip butterfly wings.”

“Green tea?”

“You can’t be serious.”

The old woman nodded her approval. “I wasn’t.”

“Because you know when a cow chews grass? And he or she chews and chews and chews? Well, green tea tastes like French-kissing that cow after it’s done chewing all that grass.”

“Would you like some mint tea?”

“Only under duress.”

“English breakfast.”

I clapped my hands. “Now you’re talking!”
― David Levithan, Dash & Lily’s Book of Dares